A Rebirth of Wonder

I want to talk about awe. Not the OMG this iced tea is so awesome right now, I was thirsty af kind of awe. I’m talking about the kind that you don’t recover from, the kind that has no equal, the kind that changes you.

The first time I felt truly awestruck I was maybe ten years old. My older brother had set up a 6-inch reflecting telescope in our back yard and pointed it at Saturn. I looked through the eyepiece and saw this tiny, perfect planet with a ring sweetly surrounding it. That feeling – that the universe was full of wondrous things waiting to be discovered – sustained me through a lot of years afterwards.

Twenty or so years later it happened again. I was on a long meditation retreat. I had been in sitting in silence for seven days and had just given up all hope for “something” to happen, which is, of course, when it did. (Surrender isn’t always a bad thing.) Something shifted. The sun wasn’t just shining – it was lavishing the trees with light. The wind blew and the grass applauded. Every breath was an act of unconditional love. The universe was no longer full of wondrous things waiting to be discovered – it WAS as wondrous thing. It was delight. It was grace.

Since starting this trip, the feeling of awe is ever present.

But I’m about to enter Las Vegas…so the bloom’s coming off this rose. The martinis will have to sustain me for the next few days.


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